Oh, boy... do I ever need help.

My brother accepted a contract job first of January, the project deadline
is February 15th. He's hit a snag at school (Univ. of Kansas) and has no
spare time to work on the project. I told him not to worry, I'd take it
off his hands and finish it for him.

Big mistake. I'm stuck. What I'm working on is an online personality test
for a psychiatrist in California. I need some snippet of code that will
function like this...

If x and y = z, get page

I want the script to read the body for certain text, then get the assigned
URL (out of 16) for that combination.

More detailed example (in case, I'm not being clear):

If body contains 43hg8 + TRor90 + YTfrOM + ADorBC, get http://www.website.com/persona/result21.htm

What do I do? Does anyone know of a script like this already? It seems
it would be fairly simple to write, but because I've been working on this
so hard, I can't really think.

If anyone has any suggestion on writing this script or where I can find one
similar to it... please contact me.

Thank you sooo MUCH!