For Mike Mitchell: Remember How Great Windows 95 Was?


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  1. #1
    pwilmarth Guest

    For Mike Mitchell: Remember How Great Windows 95 Was?


    If you have half a brain, you can't help but notice the throng of publications,
    analysts and net users declaring Windows 95 the Saviour of the Computer Industry.
    If you have less than half a brain, you probably believe it. Could it be?


    Let's compare Windows 95 against another saviour, Jesus of Nazareth:


    Jesus: Can walk on water.
    Windows 95: Can crawl on a 486.


    Jesus: Sits in judgement at the pearly gates.
    Windows 95: Will be used to judge Bill Gates.

    Jesus: Started life as a carpenter.
    Windows 95: Turns perfectly good computers into furniture.


    Jesus: Born in a manger.
    Windows 95: Resembles something found in a barn.

    Jesus: Remembered for protecting the weak.
    Windows 95: Has weak memory protection.

    Jesus: Was raised from the dead.
    Windows 95:Was created from Windows 3.1

    Jesus performed great works for the multitudes.
    Windows 95 multitasking performance barely works.

    Jesus has no sin.
    Windows 95 has no shame.

    You decide.


  2. #2
    Eddie Burdak Guest

    Re: For Mike Mitchell: Remember How Great Windows 95 Was?

    pwilmarth,

    pwilmarth wrote:

    :: Let's compare Windows 95 against another saviour, Jesus of
    Nazareth:

    <Snip>

    Congratulations - you make mike look sharpe!

    Eddie


  3. #3
    PWilmarth Guest

    Re: For Mike Mitchell: Remember How Great Windows 95 Was?


    Top 12 Things People Think the '95' in 'Windows95' Really Stands For


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    12. The required number of megabytes of RAM to run at useable speed.

    11. The percentage that will be complete on the shipping date.

    10. The number of floppies it will ship in.

    9. The percentage of people who will have to upgrade their hardware.

    8. The number of megabytes of hard disk space required.

    7. The number of pages in the *EASY-INSTALL* version of the manual.

    6. The percentage of existing windoze programs that won't run in the new
    OS.

    5. The number of minutes to install.

    4. The number of calls to tech support before you can get it to run.

    3. The number of people who will actually PAY for the upgrade.

    2. The number of MHz required for the OS to run.

    1. The year it was due to ship.



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Other Additions:
    The number of seconds before it crashes.
    Bill Gates' age when it ships.
    Microsoft never told you what century!!
    The number of ships for shipping it.
    The millions of women who will be alone while their partners have opened
    the 'Windows'.
    The number of minutes to 'kill' the hard drive.
    The number of microsoft support staff that "WON'T" need extreme counselling...

    The percentage turnover rate for staff.
    The number of days until Gates tries to sell you a newer OS.
    The 95 stands for average CPH : Crash Per Hour.


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